Love it or hate it—

People have strong opinions about adoption. And with good reason.

You’ve probably heard enough positive and negative adoption experiences to write your own book about it.

But as both an adoptee and an adoptive mom, I still believe there are many reasons to love it.

Why love adoption?

Here are 3 good reasons:

1. It’s redemptive.

Recently, I heard an adoptee take deep offense at this idea that adoption is redemptive. Specifically, he kept stressing that the child did nothing wrong and didn’t need to be redeemed.

True, children in need of families have done nothing to deserve it.

But this is a problem of definitions.

In Christian theology, redemption is the act of being saved from sin. But redemption isn’t limited to this one definition. Redemption can also mean delivering something or someone from a hardship by payment of a price.

When the gavel dropped on my own adoption several decades ago, my parents redeemed the hardship of my being alone in the world. And they did so by way of a payment. And no, I’m not just talking about adoption fees.

(Although, fun fact, I used my own adoption receipt as a bookmark for many years. Don’t judge my parents—I don’t even think they knew I did it.)

By way of payment, my parents gave me their name, their home, their provision, their support, and their acceptance. And my story of growing up alone was redeemed.

Relief is momentary. What children without families really need is redemption.

2. It’s God’s idea.

Long before time began or ever there was a single family unit on this earth, God planned adoption as part of His holy rescue mission.

I’m not charismatic, but I get as close to being charismatic as I will ever be when I read—

“Even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us for adoption to Himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace, with which He has blessed us in the Beloved.” 

Ephesians 1:4–6

Before the foundation of the world, adoption was God’s idea. In other words: adoption even pre-dates the creation of the world!

And throughout the pages of the Bible, He weaved many adoptions into the overarching salvation story.

3. It’s good.

You might be thinking: But some adoptees have truly horrible experiences in their adoptive families.

Yes. And you will never hear me minimize or sanitize that. Loss is a pre-requisite on the adoption journey. Adoption is filled with losses—unspoken and unspeakable. And adding trauma upon trauma, some children are placed in terrible homes.

But I believe it should also be stated clearly: Adoption isn’t the problem; it’s the solution to the problem. Even if some people abuse the solution.

Here’s the problem that needs to be set right:

Children are growing up without families.
The goal is to create families for children who need them.

Are children ever forcibly and illegally removed from their birth families? Yes.
Are young birth mothers ever forced to create an adoption plan against their will? Yes.
Are children ever placed in abusive adoptive families? Yes.

Unfortunately, nothing and no one is immune to the evil in this world. Which means we need to continually and dogmatically commit ourselves to improving processes and providing accountability.

But the problem isn’t adoption. The problem is those who abuse adoption.

There is a critically important difference between loving adoption and loving the circumstances that make it necessary. Adoption itself is very, very good.

Up next: Let’s talk about finding your people.